Frog Blog

i'm sleepy today for some reason. i had a good night's sleep and a decent lunch but i'm right knackered. maybe because i'm still trying to kick the last of this cold.

went to two classes today, my first official day of work. luckily they were a kind of "meet and greet" set up where i got to meet the students and they asked me questions. uh, yeah, i could just about hear the second hand clicking on my watch it was so quiet in those classrooms. it was like trying to get your dog to carry on a conversation with you about the upcoming election. good lord. luckily, the classes were with "terminale" students, meaning they're getting ready for the bac and this is their last year. also, english/ language isn't their main study; science is. oh, well, hopefully the younger kids who are actually excited and studying languages will be better...

but think back to your high school language courses... remember how boring and stupid they seemed? i remember every monday morning the french teacher would ask us, what did you do this weekend? and we'd always say the same thing, with the same amount of enthusiasm (next to nothing): "j'ai dormi beaucoup," (i slept a lot) or "j'ai fait des courses," (i went shopping, oooooh!!!), etc.

if you don't have to speak english or french or anything non native, why would you? if you don't have to figure out how to say, "can i recharge my phone card here?" or "is there a bathroom nearby?" or "how much does this fruit weigh?" every time you walk out the door, like me, why on earth would you?

so my friend from portland, angela, arrived this afternoon. and none too soon!! it's so nice to talk to someone from home who knows me. it's nice because i can really be myself, make references to things she knows about, talk about home and friends in common, etc. she's been traveling for almost 3 weeks and is still going strong and very excited. we've been touring this town like mad and have decided to do slow stuff, like laundry, tomorrow, since everything is closed on sundays anyway.

it's wicked cool showing someone around. it's made me realize how much i've learned about this city. saturdays are the best here too because everyone is out, strolling, shopping, eating, etc. most people get paid at the end of the month so i think everyone is feeling flush and in a good mood.

my gut is bugging me a little today... too much cheese last night maybe? but i'm ignoring it because it's so nice to have a buddy in town. i can't for b. to get here in november.

something readers should know: sometimes i swear in this blog. my mom was a little annoyed at my "motherfu....." entry from last week. i'm sorry if this offends anyone but i'm hoping to be as honest as possible in these entries and that was honestly how i was feeling that day. i feel like that for at least 5 mins a day here anyway because the simplest things can be so complicated sometimes, like paying for a sandwich or choosing a baguette. anyway, just wanted to explain.

also, i never really have bad days here; more like bad hours or good hours. i think i tend to vent in these entries as well, but really, for the most part, i know this is a great, fun, unique experience for me. i think i'm still adjusting and trying to see the forest from the trees, or whatever that saying is.

anyway. now we are off to the cathedral and maybe to buy a shirt or a scarf or something.

so.
angela took to bus to meet me and do laundry at about 11:30 this morning. trying to get the right bus from her hotel to my apt. last night was so frustrating; reading the times of when the bus stops, etc. finally figured it out.

anyway, we did laundry and i remembered that on sunday mornings there is an open air market just up the street from me. last sunday i bought this whole roasted chicken and it was so, so good. so i suggested the same thing for lunch today. both of us have realized that we haven't been eating enough protein so the more we talked about chicken, the more we wanted it.

we walked up to the market at about 1 pm and it was closing down... so we made a beeline for the chicken man... but he was out of chickens! well, he had about 3 gnarly looking ones left but he wasnt selling. we were so bummed. we had no plan b.

dejected, we began a hungry walk home... and walked right by another chicken man, with TONS OF CHICKENS FOR SALE. oh lord, he had small chickens, medium and large, all carmel colored and dripping with juices and smelling like the best chicken you've ever had! so we bought a petit poulet for 5 euros and each ate half in about 15 mins. the only talking we did was "oh my god this is so friggin good" and "oh" and "oooof" and "chicken!" and "have you ever tasted a chicken so good?"

i am happy to report that this particular chicken was much better than last week's chicken from the original chicken man. this chicken was falling off the bone it was so tender. oh!

walked into town, took pictures, lit a candle for joan of arc in the cathedral, decided we were still hungry even after all that chicken. went to a cafe and each had a nutella crepe. oh la la.

tonight we are meeting some of the other american assistants for an english version movie downtown called "mean creek." i've heard it's good.

a wicked good day! nothing is open but so what. we had chicken and lots of it!!

that means, what's happening?

spending time with angela was just what i needed. sunday night we saw a movie in engilsh and then walked to the cathedral at night and it was the most beautiful sight. next to the church is a mayor's office and two huge trees. we heard all sorts of birds chirping, but realized later it was bats chirping and eating little bugs. it was creepy cool. the church at night is otherworldly and only a 15 min walk from my apt.

in europe, in general, i feel pretty safe. but there is something about this town that weirds me out a little bit. angela said it was most likely just me trying to adjust to living in a new space and not the town itself. i think she's right. i think i am just not used to the fact that i can walk around by myself during the day or at night and chances are nothing will happen to me. i can't decide how i feel. it's still on simmer.

yesterday i didn't stop moving until i went to bed. i had 3 classes in a row beginning at 9 a.m., then lunch at noon, then filling out paperwork from 1 to 2:30, then the bank with georges, then the insurance company (again with georges, thank god), then the bank again, then angela for dinner (the best nicoise salad and a kir royale), then home at 10pm. up again this morning at 7 am. finally, i am finished with classes today and now i can get my shit together; i have so many papers to organize and things to do.

but!
in two weeks i have a week and a half off!! bravo!!

here are a couple of little things in my daily life you might like to know:

EATING
it's becoming easier. the school has a decent cafeteria. i bought a "carte de cantine" to use for lunches. i prepaid 20 euros on the card which should give me about 11 lunches; a pretty good price considering that every meal usually comes with a main course of meat and veggies, salads, fruits, yogurt, cheese, bread and sometimes pudding.

each day the teachers enter a special door into the cafeteria, cut in line in front of hungry students, swipe our cards to get a tray, then eat in a separate teachers' room. we can have water or wine to drink. and the food isn't terrible. it beats the usual cafeteria fare you see in the states. maybe we really are eating grade D meat, but they season it well and there's always a lot of tasty sauce. it's a great option for me. lunch is one hour.

THE TEACHERS' LOUNGE
it's where i am now. it's a beautiful, echoey room with 25-foot ceilings, crown mouldings, arched windows, 6 or 7 computers with internet access, a coffee/espresso/hot chocolate machine (it's just ok; i usually get hot chocolate and it's pretty syrupy and somewhat salty), cubby holes for each teacher, a lounge area, the copy machine, big desks, etc. it's a lovely room and it's where everyone congregates during breaks.

SCHOOL
classes begin at 8 am; the last class begins at 5pm. most classes last an hour. the students are free to leave school if they have an open period. most teachers are required to work about 15 hours per week, but classes are a lot harder than in the states and much more is demanded from the students, hence, the teachers have a lot of work to do outside of class: preparing lessons, grading papers and tests, working with students in groups, etc. (so i think the outside work evens out the at-school work in terms of hours. most people in france only work about 35 hours per week anyway. and there are tons of vacations... maybe they're onto something...)

apparently i am at one of the better schools in the area in terms of organization and success rates. most kids here pass the BAC, which is the huge test they must take to graduate. if they don't pass they must repeat their final year until they do. a few of my students are 19 years old and repeating their last year.

there are three grades here; seconde (sophomore), premier (junior) and terminale (senior). i will mostly work with seconde and premier.

students can study englisg, spanish, german, chinese and russian. there are assistants like me for everything except chinese.

c'est tout pour maintenant!

ps, the language thing is becoming a tiny bit easier every day. but after spending the whole weekend with angela speaking english... it took me a couple of hours to get back into the swing of french!

i have an hour between classes this morning and still have to go back to my room for some stuff before the next one begins.

just had a terminale class at 9 am. luckily the teacher was in the room, too. good lord. it's not that the kids are mean or terrible, it's just that they don't care one iota about speaking in english. so they mostly chat to their friends. i can't blame them, either. i am still trying to get used to being in front of a class, being interesting for them, talking slow enough, thinking of things to say, etc. mostly i'm just awkward. or someone will ask me something so esoteric and philosophical that i have no idea how to answer it. like, one girl asked me, "what do you think of the american dream?" good lord, where do i start? that could take a couple of hours with your friends over drinks. how can i begin to think about that in a nice, 10 words or less, little wrapped up package in simple enough english?

i think today i spoke too fast and no one is used to my accent. the teachers here teach with a british accent. so when i say "class," the kids are used to hearing it as "clahhhss."

i don't want to become cynical after only 3 days, but i know some of the kids don't give a shit... and i don't give a shit about them either. it doesn't bother me if they don't want to speak english, it just makes it easier for me if they do. i think i am much better in smaller groups when i have something specific to discuss and the kids aren't as rowdy.

this is all still on simmer. sometimes i wish i had more teacher training; other times i think training is superfluous in the sense that it's difficult to try to train someone how to be a teacher, you just have to go and do it.

here's what it takes for me to receive a phone call in my room:

1. i live in a stone building, surrounded by other stone buildings. therefore, reception stinks. often times i can hear the caller just fine but they can't here me; other times i can barely hear the caller over the din of static in the air.

2. because i live in a stone house, my phone does not pick up digital signals. so i'm on analog or the french equivalent.

2a. Analog sucks my phone's battery dry in about 3 mins, so I have to stop what i'm doing, unplug my light from the one-outlet extension cord, plug in my phone charger, then my phone in order to suck power from the outlet.

3. again, because i live in said stone house, i must position myself just so near the window in order to utilize the only opening in my room to the outside world and hope to pick up a signal. this also requires me to

4. open the outside blinds on the window. they're metal and it takes a good 2 or 3 pulls to open the heavy things up.

then i can talk on the phone, but because of my reception, i have to talk REALLY LOUD so as to be heard. kind of like those dingbats in zupan's who march around on their hands-free cellphones talking to the produce aisle.

my new schedule is pretty good. it's 9 hours of mandatory class (mandatory for the kids) and 3 hours of voluntary class-- this is usually for the terminale kids who want to practice english, otherwise they would have a free period. if they sign up voluntarily for my class, they've made the committment and it becomes mandatory.

anyway, i work from 1 to 5 pm mondays, 2 to 3 tuesdays, 1 to noon wednesdays, 10 to noon thursdays and 8 to noon fridays. they said that even tho i don't get any 3-day weekends, i don't have to be back in class until 1 on mondays and i'm finished by noon fridays, so i can get out of town early for the weekend and stay somewhere sunday night, retourning monday morning. works for me.

i had 3 classes today and by the third one, i'd just about run out of steam. i was starving, it was almost lunch time and i was tired of talking about myself. it takes a lot of energy leading a class, duh. i am happy for my set schedule, although it doesn't begin until oct. 18. the last week of oct is a mini vacation, too; i think i will go to beaune for the week.

i am beginning to recognize students around campus; i always make a point to say hello.

that means, "other things."

i've discovered a new bakery closer to my apt. than the bakery i usually frequent. the new bakery was recommended to me by one of my teachers here. i think pastries are the specialty at this bakery; i'm not sure if they make bread regularly or not. i bought a pain au chocolat this afternoon to go with my 4 pm tea and it was really, really good. wicked buttery, not undercooked or overcooked, not too much chocolate, extra crispy and flaky and it had a nice, cooked, nutty flavor that you get when you bake with butter. it may become my new favorite place.

before it opened today (most places close for a couple hours during the afternoon for lunch; hey, what a concept!), i gazed hungrily in the window at all the little sweet pastries. there were little lemon tarts, little pies with grapes or strawberries, little cakes shaped like pigs (how appropriate!), dark chocolate ganache cylander cakes, meringues, candies and cookies. oh, lord. i can't wait to go back.

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here's something for you: everyone here says hi but no one makes eye contact on the streets. i was in the laundromat today and 3 strangers came in, looked at me, said bonjour, then went about with their laundry (one woman was smoking, oy vey!). i didn't know them from adam but there they were, saying hi. yet walking down the street, it's eyes to the ground. granted, you have to watch where you're going so as not to step in dog shit, but even women don't make eye contact with other women.

this is so strange to me; in self-defense class, we were told to always make eye contact with people to show that we are aware, strong and able. i think here it signifies the same things but it's misconstrued as threatening or getting into someone's business.

one of my friends here told me she is now making a point of saying hello to people she passes on the streets. she says it brings her down to not say hi to people. i don't think i feel that strongly about it, but it is an adjustment.

but back to the hello thing. if a teacher were to walk by me right now, they'd say hello. it's really quite nice. just to be acknowledged.

just hit the town on a shopping trip. things seem so pricey. here's what i bought:

deodorant
cotton balls
toner (for my face)
an english/french dictionary
a french/english phrase book (very cheap)
some envelopes
a pen
a candle

all of this cost about 43 euros, which is about 55 dollars. granted, the candle was a bit expensive (13 euros at l'occitane), but it's long lasting (all beeswax) and smelled heavenly, like honey. my shower room absolutely smells like sewage, and i can't seem to find much potpourri in town that doesn't make me retch, so i figured the candle, while a splurge, would be well liked and used in that shower room everyday.

most things cost less at huge grocery stores, but those stores are often out of town therefore hard to get to on foot. plus, it's not as fun as poking around several different shops and pharmacies around town, trying to find what i'm looking for. still... even if i'm thinking in euros, 43 euros for all that is still a lot.

dad (and rick steves, the pbs travel guru) always say, count on running out of things in europe so you can have an adventure trying to find replacements. this is all fun and good (and i never have any problems trying new lotions and potions) but i'm thinking cost-wise, i should have brought more supplies from home. i hate how things i need everyday cost a lot. it's not like i'm out there buying frivolous stuff...

lunch today was "steak hache," which is sort of like ground beef in a patty form. yum, i thought. the spanish assistant and i both chose the same thing.

alas, when we cut into it, the beef was pretty much raw. it was red and barely warm. both of us looked at each other and said, what the hell is this? the other french teachers in the lunchroom explained that this particular lunch dish is very traditional for france, because the french think the meat's true flavors are lost when it's cooked all the way. huh.

now, don't get me wrong; while i usually like my meat cooked, i don't mind a little pink in the middle of my steak (b. and dad can attest that i like it cooked but not brown and tough all the way). but that's steak; this was red hamburger. it looked like it had just come from the package. neither of us ate it, much to the amusement of the french teachers.

so,
tonight the assistants and some of the profs are going out to a fine dining dinner experience to celebrate our arrival and also, i think, as an excuse to get together outside of school. a room at a restaurant in town was reserved for us and we had 6 options for food: 3 different salads to choose from and 3 different main courses to choose from. the spanish assistant and i both chose the beef option for the main course (the other choices were salmon and veal feet, no joke).

one of the teachers explained to us that our beef tonight may indeed be very similar to the bloody beef we had for lunch. but... she did say we could ask the waiter to actually cook our meat tonight.

i feel pretty adventurous when it comes to food; dating b. i've tried all kinds of foods that i normally wouldn't have and i've liked most of them (take beets, for example). i'll try just about anything once, with the possible exception of live bugs or worms (or dead bugs or worms, for that matter) but there's something about raw meat that kinda bugs me. (i know that salami isn't cooked but cured, but that's a totally different ballpark) perhaps if it's steak tonight and a little red and not ground steak, it will be different?

i guess i'll just have to wait and see.

it's amazing how different kids are.

i had two classes this morning with terminale students who study half the time here, half the time at the music and dance conservatory. there were only 12 students in the class, so i took half for the first hour, half for the second hour. man, i lit the classroom on fire. i had their attention, made them laugh, engaged them in conversation, talked about interesting things, etc. in turn, they helped each other with their english, asked me questions, etc. both classes were so cool and i had some fun and felt like i got thru some heads.

so i was feeling pretty cocky when i walked into another terminale class today. i met the first half of this particular class last week and it went well, so i assumed this class would go well, too.

i'm such an idiot. for the first two classes today, i had a paper with two paragraphs prepared in case the conversation went sideways, but the classes went so well that i didn't have to use it. so for this third class, when i gave them the option of either talking about american life or reading the paper, obviously they didn't choose the paper, and i thought i could swing it by talking to them about anything. boy, was i wrong.

about 4 girls in the class seemed to care about talking and the other four people (2 girls and 2 guys) didn't give a shit whatsoever. their english is pretty good but mostly they just talked to themselves and didn't really participate or stay quiet when the other kids were attempting to talk.

bottom line: i should have reined the class in a little better. it's important to me to have a good rapport, be liked and have fun, yes, but it's also important to me to engage the class in conversation to get them practicing their english. after the first two classes this morning, i'd forgotten that kids are kids and mostly just want to goof off and not pay attention if they don't have to.

i think i may meet with them again in a couple of weeks and will be better prepared. if they are still disruptive and talking among themselves, i'll say something to the professor. it's a waste of my time and a waste of time for the other students who actually care. it sucks when i have have kids in class who'd rather eat glass than speak english.

mostly i'm just annoyed at myself. i got too cocky. oy.

just talked with patricia about the third class today. she didn't seem at all worried about it and in fact told me that most likely i would not meet with this class again because they don't really need the practice. phew! she said it's the same sometimes for her; she thinks things will be exciting in class and sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't.

enough already.

tomorrow i have 5 classes, weds. and thurs. i don't have any classes, friday i have 2. of course, friday's classes are in the afternoon! i have to go to the doctor's office on thursday for my whole visa-stay thing, but that's it. i think i will really explore this city during my little two-day break; check out a museum or two, take some walks, meet up with other american assistants, etc. maybe get a library card.

i think i may head down to beaune for the upcoming holiday.

ok, here's what happened last friday at the big dinner with the other teachers.

there were about 25 of us and the champagne was flowing. the first course, a "salade ardennaise," was great: greens, tomatoes, small potato fries, egg, chicken sausage and little bits of bacon. excellent. then, the main course: beef!! oh, i was so excited and starving. the waitress came out and asked us how we wanted the meat prepared and i said "bien cuit!" which is well done but in france, well done actually means medium well. just perfect.

the waitress brought out my plate of chow and immediately spilled it all over me and the floor. apparently the "bien cuit" meat resulted in a piping hot plate as well, which the nonexperienced waitress was holding, i think, with her bare hand. there was butter sauce and beef and potatoes everywhere. she was so apologetic and embarrassed and insisted that i bring back my clothes so she could have them dry cleaned. (luckily i wasn't wearing anything that really required dry cleaning.)

georges later told me that the waitress and her husband, the chef, who own the restaurant just opened it about a month ago. they used to sell cigarettes at the convenience store next door but hubby had this dream of opening a restaurant because he loves to cook and it brings him great joy to cook for other people. wifey has little to no experience waiting tables. one of my collegues said that if a waitress spilled a plate at any other restaurant in town she'd be fired immediately.

i didn't mind, really. they brought me a fresh steak and it was so good; cooked just perfectly. dropping a plate is something i would probably do... no harm no foul. i told georges, hey, shit happens. it was an accident. and no one will forget that meal!

the rest of the evening progressed nicely; a lovely cheese course, dessert, coffee, etc. the assistants didn't have to pay anything because we were the guests of honor. perfect.

saturday and sunday were rainy and cold; i bought a wool turtleneck sweater and a puffy vest. it feels so frigid here, probably because we're inland. but today was warmer and sunnier.

time for dinner...

it's difficult. oy vey. i was just trying to speak with the russian assistant, who is so sweet. her french is a million times better than mine but she speaks in a strange way; with pursed lips or something so it makes it hard for me to understand her. when i talk in my broken, tragic french, i don't think she can understand me, either, so we're both left scratching our heads and looking at each other blankly.

i can understand the spanish assistant pretty well and i can understand the german assistant even better. we make a rag-ma-tag team, the four of us.

i had three classes this morning. in the first, the teacher had the students prepare classes ahead of time and then made them take notes on what i said. sheesh. they were so serious, probably because they are going to be graded on my presentation. they asked some pretty decent questions and could speak english very well.

in the second class i just sat in and watched how a regular class works. the kids worked in groups and then had to construct sentences on the text. it went ok. i just helped with vocabulary.

the third class went very well; the students were terminale and there were about 30 of them. i'd never met them so after introductions i had to explain america's celebration of independence day. i talked about our parades, firetrucks, fireworks, barbecues, getting a three-day weekend, etc. i had them laughing which is always good for the first meeting. usually i just act like a big goofball and it helps to break the ice.

i have two more meet & greet classes this afternoon, then i am finished until 2 p.m. friday...

i just booked some tickets online for vacation. lord help me, i hope everything turns out ok.

i leave for dijon on oct. 25; from dijon i need to buy a ticket to beaune, which is only about 20 mins away by train and shouldn't cost too much.

i'll be in beaune 3 nights then head down to montpellier, near the beach, for 5 nights. i had to do some careful planning; i bought two round-trip tickets: from reims to dijon oct 25-nov. 2; from dijon to montpellier oct 28-nov. 2. get it? so nov. 2 will be a big travel day for me.

i thought i would be able to print out my tickets here but my only option was for them to send them to me at school. this should take about 4 business days. hopefully they'll come.

all in all, i charged about 100 euros for the train travel. my room in beaune only costs about 24 per night; i may try and stay in a hostel in montpellier to meet other people and sleep for cheap. there are a number of smaller beach towns near montpellier; i chose it because i knew i wanted to go somewhere south to get some sun and because lonely planet said it was a cool place. it's about the same size as reims and it has a tram.

it's so strange; i feel a bit apprehensive about traveling. i have no idea why. i think maybe it's because i remember the poopy parts of traveling; eating dinner alone, not knowing where to go, feeling lost, not talking to anyone for days... i think it will be a good idea to hostel it for a night or two to get my bearings. and traveling is one of the main reasons why i came to france; i want to see more of europe.

here's to hoping it's a little warmer and a little less dreary in montpellier than here...

yesterday k. and i both had doctor appts. at the local hospital as part of our "carte de sejour" process. the french government wants to make sure no foreigners are carrying tuberculosis so we had to have our lungs x-ray'd and later got to keep our x-rays. it's rather cool seeing a photo of the inside of me: my lunges, heart, shoulder bones, boobs. i might put it up in the window.

the two of us met another assistant at the hospital: h. from los angeles. after the x-ray, we all had to give urine samples. no problem except we weren't peeing in huge american courtesy cups; on the contrary, we were given these tiny little test tube sized cylanders. mmmmm. fun.

god, tho, the hospital had a really creepy feel; it's so old (compared to the ones in the usa) and was just full of sick people... duh! i know, but the sickies were being wheeled about in front of everyone instead of discreetly hidden away like in the usa. it makes me wonder, do we deal with sickness and death in the usa, or do we just hide it, afraid it will remind us of our own mortality? i guess it was good for me to see sickies wheeled about; it kind of got me over my own fears.

after the appt. we all agreed to meet up for dinner, but h. had to go to french class so k. and i headed downtown to kill some time. she'd never been to sephora (hello!!!) so on the way there we stopped in h&m, a swell clothing store based in sweden with excellent threads for not too much money. we ran into e. and c. so we all hung out before dinner. i bought a cheap scarf to add to my collection and ate a pastry with apricots and cream cooked in. these are the moments i love france. dinner was at a chinese place i'd been to before; considering it was all nasty and rainy and cold out, the chinese food was wonderful. i'm happy to eat other food than french once in a while.

today i have two classes. it's raining out and wicked chilly. can't wait to get down to montpellier. i'm hoping for some sun.

yesterday, by a stroke of luck, i was able to outsmart the school's computer system and accessed my hotmail account, which is usually blocked. today, however, i can't make it work. so sad. another thing that eats me is that just recently hotmail gave everyone 250 gigs, er something... so now my saved messages only take up 1 percent of the space alotted to me. grrr. i had to delete and save onto disk many of the old messages i'd had in hotmail before i left because my account was getting too big.

dontcha hate it when your jeans are clean but they don't smell clean? it's the price i pay for going out to restaurants with smokers and greasy cheesy food.

last night the other assistants at my school and i had a little pizza and wine party. there's a pizza place nearby where you can buy two medium sized pizzas for 16 euros on the weekends. they were pretty good, but they weren't cut into slices. i saw pints of haagen daaz there for 6.50 euros!!! i love me the haagen daaz, but not for that price.

we had some wine last night, too, and n. bought some 7-up which tasted so good but so sweet. it's funny the things i haven't eaten since i've been here. i'd really like a taco. or some good sushi (i hear there's a sushi place in town but have yet to go). i would also like some scrambled eggs, bacon, hashbrowns and toast, please. actually, i'd just kill for some toast, or an english muffin. i'm considering buying a big toaster oven that also doubles as a conventional oven...

not that i don't dig the french food, of course-- where else can you get such amazing pastries and cheese and yogurt? but once in a while i get a craving for cheerios.

today it's grey and cold and rainy. there's a big marathon in town tomorrow so i may try to watch part of it. most of the roads will be closed to allow the runners to run. i spied a weather report on tv while waiting for the pizza last night and it said it's supposed to be about 18 degrees in montpellier. 28 centigrade equals 82 farenheit, so 18 should be, what, in the 60s? better than the 8 or 9 degrees we have here.

right now it's 10:50 am and i'm chillin' in the teacher's lounge. i have two classes but not until this afternoon. the sun it out and although i had a hard time falling asleep last night i was able to sleep in so i'm not feeling too crappy.

the weekend was cool. went to pizza party with the other assistants at my school friday night and enjoyed a nice glass of cheap bordeaux. saturday went by fast but i bought some more salami in the afternoon and talked to mom, b. and dad. met some friends downtown at 8 for dinner/drinks but left early because 1. there were too many of us to have a real conversation; 2. the three people sitting opposite me were heavy smokers; 3. i just decided, fuck this, i'm not having a great time, the smoke is making me feel crappy so i left at 10 and walked home, which only took 17 mins.

one of the girls, h. from los angeles, had met this french guy at a concert the night before and brought him to dinner with us; they were obviously hooking up and being all cooey with each other (she was like, "how do you say ??? in french?" and batting her eyelashes and he was eating it up) and it was terribly funny to watch but i think at the same time when two people are hooking up you should just keep your distance because it has nothing to do with you and you'll just get in the way if you say too much. another girl at the table, s. from boston (she's only 22) had no clue; h. would ask french guy, "how do you say...?" and he would blush and answer and then s. from boston would butt in, totally unaware, and correct his french. HIS french-- a guy from france-- shouldn't he know what to say and how to say it? i tried to distract s. from boston but to no avail...

anyway, sunday was nice but then rainy (can you spot the theme here?) but j. and o. and i walked down to galleries lafayette, a grand department store usually closed on sundays but open yesterday because of their big sale. i bought a small wool cap and wore it all the way home and wasn't cold for the first time in a while. the three of us had fun browsing and poking around. the store is interesting because it sells all these famous french brands (like esprit, remember them?) but each brand has its own little corner in the store and its own register, it hink, so it's like going to 15 little boutiques in one place. kinda interesting. on the way there we saw a few runners in the marathon and cheered them on. i think it was toward the end of the route because everyone looked really, really whipped... luckily it wasn't too hot for them.

in one of my classes today i have to give a little presentation on journalism. ha ha ha!!! that should be interesting!!!

i leave for vacation in one week!!!

the reality of my life right now is this: i go to bed and wake up alone. it is entirely up to me to take care of myself; feed myself, get exercise, communicate as best i can with the french, drink enough water, be prepared for class, make sure i have on my raincoat when the clouds turn grey. and i really want to make as many friends as possible.

and i'm making up for lost time. i don't know what happened; in high school and college i had bunches of friends and we'd go out all the time. post college, i lost touch, dropped out, didn't meet very many people, became cynical and annoyed, didn't want to talk about work with my work friends, didn't know where i fit.

now, here, i have this unique opportunity. if faced with the decision to go out or stay home, i'd rather go out. this is 180 degrees different from before i left; i hardly ever went out. but when faced with a night alone in my tiny apt. or a night carousing with new pals, i'll take the carousing.

i've been wondering (with all this time on my hands) what my mission is here. i have a near-perfect set up: free rent, suitable apt., great school, friendly and helpful teachers, lots of other assistants my age in the town. i don't want to blow it by thinking too much or by staying home, nor by partying every single night until 5 or 6 am. i want to teach a few of these kids some english and have some fun.

bottom line: i just really, really want to be true to myself and figure out where i fit in. i feel like i've spent too much time trying to make myself fit where i just don't.

there was a big teacher/staff/everyone-is-invited shindig last night here at school called an "amicale." just an excuse for everyone to get together, share some pizza and champagne, talk shop. the other assistants and i went and had a good time. i met the husband of a spanish teacher and he wanted to practice his english and i was ok with that.

later i met up with h. from los angeles, s. from boston, r. from missouri and e. from england. they were just finishing dinner when i met them at the restaurant (i'd already eaten) and we later piled into a U-shaped booth at a bar called the glue pot in the center of town. it was nice; s. from boston talks really loud (and always seems to be talking) but r. from missouri is crazy fun and later t-bo (h's new french boyfriend) showed up so r. and t-bo talked about shit in french. e. from england is only 20 years old but super sweet; we ended up taking the same bus home at about 11:30.

the bar was fun and divey and dim and smoky and not too loud and had red vinyl chairs and dark walls. i got home at about 11:45 and hit the sack and slept hard, but damned if the shirt i was wearing didn't smell like smoke the whole night, infusing my dreams with nicotine. i finally got up at about 3:30 and tossed it into my shower room so i wouldn't have to smell it anymore.

i only had a small beer last night but i think all the smoke really got to me. god, i hate how i smell after a night out, esp. if i've just washed my clothes. ah well.

i slept in today until about 9, which was nice. had one class and just had lunch.

i'm glad i went out last night; glad it was a smaller group so we could all talk to each other, glad to not sit around my apt. i think i may go to this english speaking get-together tonight with some of the younger english teachers in reims... we'll see what pans out.

it was also cool last night to not talk about school, or the students, or france in general; we all just talked about other shit which was a nice change of pace.

last night i met up with l. from school (he's an english teacher in training) and his girlfriend a. and all of her english-studying students from the university. the two of them set up a conversation group at an irish pub called kilberry's every other weds. i couldn't believe how much english i heard. i felt like i was at a pub in england. it was pretty cool and the drinks were cheap. h. from los angeles showed up as did her friends from school f. and i. (h's new french boyfriend showed up too. i don't think she's into him as much as he's into her. he's only 22 and so desperately wants to communicate with her in english. so he was practicing last night, too.)

i ended up talking with some students and eventually talked with f. and i., who both turned out to be so fucking cool. f. speks engish wonderfully and actually studied one year at chapel hill so he has this ease about him when he speaks in english and immediately he cut the crap and started having a real conversation with me. one of his first questions was, "so, what the fuck do you want to do with your life?" to which i answered, "do you have a few hours?" i knew right then and there we'd be friends.

f. is studying to be a teacher but doesn't really know if that's what he wants to do. he "majored" in english and it seems to be the same in france as in america--- most engish majors teach. so we talked about that and god and smoking (he's a smoker, i'm not) etc. his girlfriend, i., is from portugal and totally gorgeous and they just looked like they matched together, you know? they looked like they belonged.

eventually, the five of us (sorry for the use of initials instead of names!!!) went out for dinner at about 9:30 after it totally stopped piss raining. my first thunderstorm in reims. dinner was wicked fun but by then i was dog tired and hungry and thirsty and tired of the smoke (although i am slowly getting used to smokiness, much to my relief and chagrin), so i left about about 10:50.

tonight, though, i. invited me to an art opening at 6 pm in town, which is where i'm headed. i have two classes tomorrow morning at 8 and 9; then l. and i are going to the sous prefecture for my visa thing. wish me luck; the french are full of red tape and are notoriously cranky when it comes to government stuff.

so today was my appt. with the sous prefecture, a sort of government office where i apply for my "carte de sejour," a little addendum that goes with my visa and allows me to leave and enter the country of france at will. nevermind that europe is now a union with open borders and i don't really have much of a desire to go to nonunion switzerland anyway.

so L. met me and we walked down and even though i had an appt. for 10:45 am, i still had to take a number, like at the DMV, and take a seat. i saw some lady from last week at the hospital; she had a different sort of paper than i did but when she left today she left with nothing. they took all her papers and did not give her a carte de sejour.

here's a little background on the sous prefecture place: they're literally open for about 4 hours a day, and the grim, humorless office is filled with immigrants trying to establish residency, dudes trying to get their papers in order, women trying to speak in non native french and answer complicated questions, etc. it's dismal and the office is small, smelly and cramped. AND everyone who works there is hellishly cranky, despite CHOOSING their profession and only having to work 4 hours a day.

okay, so, i was number 127 but L. and i went to the window when they called out #100 because no one else had numbers between 100 and 127. i was totally prepared; the last time i went they gave me this list of things to bring: i had my passport, birth certificate, proof of housing, proof of work, proof that i peed in a cup and passed the drug test, my visa, etc. AND triplicates of everything.

and what does that broad ask me? she asks me for my "carte de travail," aka, my work card that i appently should have received the moment i started work. on my list it told me to bring this card OR another sheet of paper proving that i had been hired, stamped by my school and and ministry of education and blah blah blah--- i had this sheet of paper but no work card (but! according to the list, i only needed one or the other...)

so L. is looking at me (with a pained, confused expression) and asking, do you have this work card? and i said, no, i have everything they gave me and he said, i'm really sorry but they need this work card. then lady asked me where my stamp was in my passport indicating when i arrived in france. i don't have a stamp because immigration never stamped my passport when i arrived in paris. not my fault, they just didn't do it. she asked me if i had any proof of landing (and i was thinking, uh, yeah, i'm sitting right here, right? so i landed!!!) and asked if i had my plane ticket receipt, which i did but it was at home. so i had to write on a blank sheet of paper "i hearby swear that i arrived in france on sept 18" and had to sign it. (luckily L. wrote all that out for me in french and i just had to sign.)

now in the meantime, while lady was working on my "case," she kept getting up to talk to her comrades, answer questions they had about other people applying for the same thing, and, i don't know, having a cup of coffee or something while we were waiting. something that could literally take 10 minutes was taking 45.

eventually, i left, dejected, with a blue piece of paper saying that i am in the process of applying for my card, but this card says it is invalid for me to work (so i'm not really sure what i have a visa for?). soon i will talk to the secretary here at school and see about this work card thing. then, the sous prefecture will send me a letter saying that my carte de sejour is ready, only if i have my work card to pick up the carte de sejour... oh la la. i wanted to drive nails into everyone's head.

not only is it confusing and in another language, but also it's just so... INEFFICIENT. this woman was looking up stuff in her notes she'd written in her disorganized desk calendar on the whole process; why don't they use the computer as a database? why is something so routine so fucking complicated? you'd think they would be more put together, especially because they work 4 HOURS A DAY. everytime i go to this office it's so crowded with people who all want the same thing. WTF???

welcome to france!!!

last night's art opening was a lot better than today's sous prefecture fiasco.

i., f. and three of their friends met up with me at the musee de beaux arts last night for an invitation only art opening. it was super cool. i saw a few of my students and the mayor talked. it was for an artist named gustave moreau and they had a champagne reception following the opening.

the art itself was interesting; very dark at times and strange and funny at other times. i liked it but it was so crowded that i didn't really have a chance to see much and everyone was talking and it seemed like everyone had bad breath.

but the 5 of us had a good time. 3 of the friends had never met an american before so we had a good laugh about that. it was good practice for my french and after a glass of champagne it was even easier.

tonight i have been invited to a party at f's house which should be fun. i could use some fun right now!!

so after this morning L. offered to come with me to the secretary's office at school with me to explain my situation en francais. we went at 3 pm and talked with a wicked cool secretary here who rolled her eyes in disgust at the whole stupidity of the situation. she immediately got on the phone with the rectorat-- sort of like the superindendent-- to get to the bottom of things.

they told her on the phone that the rectorat did indeed send the work cards to the sous prefecture, but somehow they "got lost in the mail" and are no where to be found. oh la la!!!

so basically she told me not to worry because i'd done everything i could and soon the sous prefecture would send me the right documents and the whole thing would resolve itself. phew. thank god for the party tonight!!!!

got home from party at f's house last night at 2 am.

it's so astounding to me how i used to be able to stay up late and get up late with no problems-- even 6 years ago, just out of college. now, good lord, my old bones are creaking and if i go to bed too late i never really sleep properly, ya know?

met with e. and c. for dinner at an italian restaurant. food was good and cheap and e. broke her wine glass all over the floor. she was so embarrassed but i love it when that sort of thing happens-- it's just so classic how the noisy restaurant suddenly becomes silent and everyone cranes their necks looking for the culprit. it's as if no one has ever heard anything loud and unusual before. i just had to laugh.

s. and fi. met up with us at the restaurant as we were finishing and the 5 of us went to a local brewery for beers/dessert. i got this rad waffle smothered in ice cream and chocolate sauce. it was oktoberfest last night at the restaurant so all the waitstaff was dressed in lederhosen. they sat us near the back... right in front of this 6- piece polka band playing ooompa ooompa music really, really loudly. it was the most hilarious thing. all conversation at our table ceased and we all cracked up. there were a lot of germans in the restaurant who sang and danced along and there was even a drinking contest but none of the guys could finish even half their steins...

at 10 i put out some euros to leave and they all wondered where i was going. they'd all heard about this party but also knew that 5 of us shouldn't show up all at once; it's rude and who knows how many people were already at the party? so it was rather awkward for me to leave.

of course, when i got to the party there were only about 10 people there and f. told me to call my friends, which i did, but no one answered their phones, most likely because the polka band was so loud.

so, the party.
L. from school was there, as was h's pal tibo and f. and his girlfriend were hosting. f. gave me a mini tour-- their apt. has a sleeping loft and is wicked cool. there were 5 or 6 other french people there and i spoke to a few of them for a while until h. arrived with her sister. for a while i felt a little like the party favor-- the "oh, isn't she cute, the american who's trying to speak french, let's tease her and laugh when she doesn't get our jokes"-- so i ended up talking in english most of the night with L and h. and h's sister. it was super cool and today i am not hungover because i didn't really drink much last night. it's bad enough to feel this tired without being hung.

what's so strange: i have so much fun with friends but then get home and feel really quite lonely and it's so quiet. dad tells me i need just put a positive spin on it, like ah, no more people around, finally i am alone and it's quiet and i can think. this thought is still on simmer in my brain...

i've beent thinking and feeling so much. am looking forward to getting out of town and a change of scene.

i am in the teachers lounge and have about an hour to kill before i have to strap on my pack and head to the train station. i noticed i had 123 new comments on this blog-- all from nasty spammers. how do i make it stop?

don't know the next time i will post; maybe in beaune. i think i remember an internet place...

wish me "bon chance" and "bon voyage"!!

i am in montpellier in a rather shitty internet place with bad keyboards and slow servers and richard marx playing over the radio and the woman next to me singing along. so it will be a very quick post. maybe later i will find another internet place as now it's bryan adams on the radio instead of richard marx.

to sum up: beaune was nice, cold, rainy and tragic: i erased all 400 of my digital photos with the flick of one quick, stupid format the disk button. i totally cried for half an hour and called b. at 2 am. i stayed in the same hotel room at the same hotel with the same little lady running the place.

my hotel in montpellier was ... a bit funky. i think my neck is still recovering from the lincoln log pillow provided on the lumpy bed. the proprietor was really nice but now i am in a different hotel, a little nicer, with a tv, which is good because tomorrow is sunday and monday is a holiday so i think i will be stuck in my room for a few days because nothing will be open. i've got a good book.

met some really nice folk from new zealand in beaune but have not met anyone here yet. it's ok, tho. i'm digging being alone and there is a lot to see here. and it's sunny.

ok, time to go. the singing woman is also talking to herself and keeps asking me questions to which i have no answer.

i have a love hate relationship with mcdonald's. of course i hate it, it's a corporate giant, a megacompany out to rule and destroy the world. i read "fast food nation" and am well aware of the amount of calories and fat i consume when i eat a cheeseburger. but here's the thing: i eat at mcd's when i'm traveling.

my least favorite thing of traveling alone is eating alone. most of the time it's not a big deal; breakfast is usually served at the hotel, lunch is a fun time to try a new creperie or get a fantastic salad and most lunch spots are used to lone eaters on a lunchbreak from work. but dinner is a whole different ball game. it's the time when friends and families and lovers get together to share thoughts, wine, stories about their days, etc. it's one of my favorite things to do at home: eat dinner with others.

here, though, eating dinner alone is a dismal thought. i know i just have to get over it; i know i should develop a supercool attitude and enjoy solitude while eating but i don't; the waiters never know where to seat me so i'm usually near the bathroom or the door to the kitchen, i eat fast, i stare at other tables with envy, etc. right, cue the pity violins, but really, i hate it.

but then there's mcdonald's. not only is it acceptable to eat alone at mcd's, it's almost welcomed-- in the sense that there are no questions asked, no raised eyebrows, no pity stares. it's absolutely no big deal at all and it's really cheap and hate to say it, it tastes really good sometimes. first of all, i think mcd's tastes better in europe; the food lacks that cardboard flavor like in the states and it's the ultimate comfort food and it fills you up.

yes, i can hear it now, girl you are in europe, why are you wasting your time and appetite on big macs when you could be enjoying some of the finest cuisine the world has to offer? to which i reply: sometimes, believe it or not, i get so sick of rich french food and too much dressing on the salad and no ice in my drink and escargot. sometimes that royale with cheese is just what my palate is craving.

i just had a cheeseburger and i am satiated. and a little bloated, but who cares.

it's halloween but you can hardly tell here. yeah, there are a few decorations up and some people in costumes, but not like the mass bruhaha halloween invokes in the states. it's rather refreshing. on the other hand, tomorrow is a national holiday-- all saint's day. tradtionally the french return to the graves of their ancestors to spruce up the sites with flowers, pay their respects, etc. but the tradition it's dying out; many people have moved away from their ancestral homes and don't make the trip each year to celebrate. i think, hey cool, a week and a half holiday from school.

musings and observations:

today in the internet cafe it smells like body odor and diesel exhaust and they're playing r&b music and nelly. much better than richard marx.

i've seen more french men in white jeans than i'd like to remember.

on the second half of the train trip from reims to beaune, the earth and landscape was the most breathtaking green. it was england green, earth green, life green, heart-melting green interspersed with gold leaves and vineyards.

the trip from beaune to montpellier was on the tgv and man, we were hauling!!! i'd never been on a long trip on a tgv and those puppies can fly. super cool.

there are palm trees down here.

i think i like montpellier better than reims. they're about the same size but there is so much more to do here. in reims there is one big city center and the rest is a bit dodgy... in montpellier the pedestrian-only city center extends and goes on forever. it's filled with windy little side streets curling and looping around themselves, each filled with dozens of restaurants and shops. plus, holy shit, the weather is a ton better. they get 300 days of sun per year and it's not too far from the beach. and it's southern france, so the people remind me a lot of italians: they're friendlier, more open, make more eye contact with me on the street, laugh more, seem more relaxed. it's a nice change from stuffy, somewhat cold reims (and i don't just mean "cold" like the weather). yeah, i get more "bonjours" from men down here, which isn't exactly welcome, but most are harmless. i think my haircolor stands out.

there are so many gorgeous people down here. more than once someone has caught my eye enough for me to look twice-- men and women. the men have this latin beauty infused with blue eyes often paired with curly light brown hair. it's a stunning combination. and they're all trim and fit and dressed well. the women would make your heart melt-- just their fashion sense makes me envious. they pull off stuff so well-- yesterday i saw a woman all in black but her pants were tucked into these pink suede boots that matched her little jacket and hat. on most people this would look ridiculous but wow, she had it.

it's rainy today (one of those other 65 days) but it's subsided for the minute so i'm off for a quick walk. today had been all about relaxing and reading and watching french tv. last night i watched "the o.c." in french and was psyched because it was an episode i hadn't seen from the first season. nevermind that i didn't understand most of it...