Frog Blog

i can't believe bush won again, i can't believe kerry conceded so quickly. i didn't think i'd be all that upset but i am. i have the sympathies of all my teachers and foreign friends, which is nice, but the idea of four more years with this monkey is so depressing. i wonder where i can claim political asylum?

it's back to old times with the gang here in reims. i'm glad to be back home and not carrying my big backpack or sleeping on the lincoln log pillows, but i'm not all that excited to be back in this city. E. and i were talking yesterday as we were walking into a store and the woman working in the store gave her usual "bonjour" greeting to us but because we were talking, we didn't immediately say "bonjour" back. so she rolled her eyes at us. good grief. after this i made sure to walk very close to her and make eye contact and say "bonjour" two times so she'd get my point.

i'm sick of the attitude here. i feel like the more 'tude i get, the more it turns into this self-fulfilling prophecy; i want to become the rude american stereotype and want to act more brash and not try. the thing is, we all try, but usually no one around here listens. i can't tell you how many times i ask someone: a waiter, store clerk, whatever, a question in french and they respond to me in english. as if i'm too stupid to understand. that's so unbelievably rude.

most of the time i just let it go, brush it off. i know there are always going to be rude people in life. but sometimes, like last night after kerry conceded and all of us were depressed, i just don't want to hear it from a rude person.

i feel extra moody today. i think it's the weather. it's becoming colder and colder and it reminds me of new england cold, which i loathe. everyone always says that pacific northwest cold is terrible because all that moisture sinks into your bones--- but it never gets all that cold in the nw and if you have some good waterproofs, you're fine. here in reims, it's a dry cold which i find more bone chilling and awful than home.

maybe i'm moody because of my schedule-- they're changing it. it was all set-- monday afternoons, friday mornings and a scattering of single classes tues-thursday, but no one can agree now on where they want me to go or for which hours. so i don't think i'll have a set schedule anymore; i think the profs will sign up week to week and i will have to work monday mornings, which kinda blows because it cuts out extended weekend travel time. before i could return from somewhere monday morning; now it's sunday night.

big deal, i know, but like everything in france, we gotta friggin' talk about it for hours before deciding on anything. i just want someone to make a decision and stick with it. it's the wishywashy-ness that bugs me.

or maybe it's just life in general that bugs me today...

on a cooler note, i had a fun weekend. i tried dim sum for the first time on saturday with georges and his family and it was wonderful. they later invited me to dinner and we all stayed up talking (en anglais) until about midnight. they are wonderful friends and hosts and a lot of fun and so helpful to me. sunday i went to prof isabelle's house for lunch with her family-- she had three kids who are so sweet and we all ate raclette, which is kind of like fondue except you pour the cheese over your potatoes or meat instead of dipping into the fondue pot. after lunch i tried true pralines for the first time-- i'd of course had them before in america in ice cream but these were roasted and toasted and sugar coated fresh at a store and they were divine. i think i could eat them all day.

i think now i may head to town and try on some pea coats.

i got my hair cut today-- just a trim, really. they massaged my scalp which was nice but only took off about a centimeter and it cost me 30 EUROS. holy shit!

as i was walking to a bigger grocery store about a half mile away in search of the kind of milk i like, this group of about 6 thugs walked passed me and were all screaming in my face being jackasses. good to know that there are jackasses all over the world, not just in america. they were harmless; just being jerks with their friends and i ignored it but what i really wanted to do was scream "get out of my fucking face!!!" in english or whatever language came to me. whatever.

they've changed my schedule and it's not bad. but the new hours don't begin until december so i won't really be working much until then. fine by me!

there is a birthday party tomorrow night for another assistant which should be fun because thursday is a bank holiday and no one has to work. wicked.

i bought an american magazine last weekend for about 6 euros and savored every last word. what is so strange to me is that while reading i am in my own little world of american diets and makeup and movie stars. i could be anywhere... and i half expect to walk out the door and say "yo" to my flatmate... i actually have to remind myself that it's "salut" instead of "yo," that i actually live in france.

there is this waffle stand downtown that makes fresh waffles with your choice of topping: jam, sugar, nutella, honey, cream, etc. i mavel at the line each time i walk by and start salivating every time i smell the hot waffles. today, i decided to get one, with nutella. talk about ambrosia. it was quite possibly the best friggin' waffle i've ever tasted. toward the end, though, it became a little too sweet. but excellent!

i spent the afternoon with the spanish assistant, N. she needed to buy a train ticket to meet her mom in paris on monday and didn't know what to do. we walked to town because the busses are on strike today (they announce when they will be on strike and for how long-- it's the same with the trains). it's cold enough out to wear my gloves and hat but sunny and crisp. i showed her where to buy a ticket at the station, where to find her train's platform when it arrives, how to find her seat, etc. it was fun and good to practice my french, our common language. she's a lot of fun and young --only 21. after the train station we wandered around town. i found a tea shop that sells more than 200 different kinds of tea. i asked the owner how much each tea cost and he told me it depends on the "cru," just like the "cru" in wine. brilliant!! i didn't buy any because i may try to find the mariage freres tea house in paris, famous for its marco polo fruit tea.

going to paris tomorrow for the day with some other assistants. can't wait to shop and get lost in paris' streets.

i'm in love with paris. i think i could live there. i think i want to live there. it's huge but not overwhelming, dirty but not smoggy, cold but sweet, grand and exciting. i feel very comfortable in paris. i do not feel afraid for my safety and i know how to ride the metro. it's possible to have very little money and still have a decent time in paris just walking around looking at things, watching people, window shopping. who knows, maybe paris is in my future.

i got up at the buttcrack of dawn saturday morning with two other assistants from my school, J and O, and caught a bus to paris. we left at 7:30 and arrived at 9:30 at the old opera house. four other assistants were already there, waiting for us at starbucks (of all places!).

there are five starbucks in france and they are all in paris. walking in was like walking back home. it smelled like home. i had a huge chai and we took up an entire corner couch upstairs. K and G were both in bad moods but E and C were just as excited as i was ordering their caramel machiatos. O pouted the whole time we were there but J is easygoing and talked to my other friends.

the boys went one direction and us girls went another. we went to galleries lafeyette, a huge department store, in search of free maps. saturdays in paris are crowded with shoppers, and galleries had just unveiled their xmas window displays and put up their huge xmas lights. that store is gargantuan. we also went to printemps, another huge dept. store, and browsed around for a bit. O decided she wanted to see the city on foot and alone so we bid her good riddance. the three of us, K and E and i, headed to the champs elysees, home to mecca: the flagship sephora. i bought lipstick and nailpolish; little pieces of expensive paris heaven.

we all met back up for lunch then went to shakespeare & co. bookstore to browse. i could stay in that rickety, cramped, charming store for hours and come back the next day and do it again. bought two books, headed for some shopping at the louvre (there's a mall under there!) and finished the day back at the champs elysees.

K and G kissed and made up and were gooey the rest of the day. i definitely felt like a fifth wheel. it just confirms the fact that i prefer to travel alone. i like to meet up for meals, but i'd rather be in charge of me and not feel like i'm dragging anyone with me or feel like i'm being dragged somewhere i don't want to go. and when i'm in paris, especially for a finite amount of time, i walk fast. i can't help it. everyone else is walking fast so i'm just going with the flow. K and G walk sloooooooooooooow. it's infuriating. and they're always in some sort of passive-aggressive fight or make up session. god, i don't have time for that.

i wanted to soak in everything i could in paris and i did; i left satisfied. i struck up a conversation with a guy, B, who sat next to me on the bus-- he turned out to be so, so, so cool. we talked in english and he's a teacher here in reims, too, at a different high school. hopefully we'll hang out and introduce each other to our friends. i love meeting someone you just click with, like you've been friends forever and are just meeting up again. it's such a treat.

can't wait to go back to paris. will be there in about 3 weeks to welcome my b.f. from home.

every so often, i'll be lost in a book (right now it's "middlesex" by jeffrey eugenides) or buried in a conversation with my dad or B or my mother and i'm so absorbed that when i look up or hang up i think, holy shit, i live in france! it's a strange, bewildering feeling tinged with absolute joy. and it dawns on me every day seemingly for the first time. sometimes it's sad; i hang up and feel so far away from the ones i love... but then i think about the chocolate croissants waiting for me.

the days are getting a lot shorter. during my 4:00 class yesterday it got dark. it's weird to teach under hallogen lights, not outside light coming in through the window. i've been sleeping more and feel hibernation mode coming on: i'm drinking more tea, eating more soup and pasta and other hot comfort foods. once in a while i get this unbelievable urge to return home, just for a few hours, to recharge my batteries or talk to the shopkeeper and have him understand me. but i also know what a unique situation i'm in and i'm not ready for it to end too soon.

the kebab here isn't like the meat chunks and veggies on a stick grilled over the bbq like it is in america. here it's shaved meat stuffed into a bread pouch with lettuce, tomatoes, onions and sauce, and quite often french fries. the meat is either a mixture of chicken and turkey or lamb and mutton, all fused together into a meat pod roasting on a giant vertical spit. kebabs always sound like a great idea and they're pretty cheap... but i always regret eating them afterwards. they're rather greasy and oily and it's hard to balance all the ingredients together in each bite; usually i get a bite of just bread or of just meat. i know i shouldn't give into my foodborne illness paranoia over here (otherwise i'd be missing out on a lot of unpasterized but otherwise excellent cheeses), but most of the time when friends recount their problems with food poisoning in europe, the trail is inevitably traced back to a kebab stand.

more:

when the cops show up for a domestic dispute or some kind of fracture in my neighborhood's usually quiet atmosphere, spectators appear in their doorways to observe what's going on. i think in the states we do this too but usually discreetly from our windows so as "not to get involved" or to "mind our own business." not here. everyone is a snooop, and outwardly so. one time in portland i heard screaming from the street below my apartment. i appeared at the window (three stories up) and witnessed a lover's quarrel (i just LOVE it when guys call their girlfriends stupid bitches!). the guy yelling looked up and saw my silhouette in the window (or the silhouettes of my neighbors) and yelled up "hey! mind your own fucking business!!!" i quickly retreated. not here, man!! i could practically put out a lawn chair and fix myself a long island iced tea and get a front row seat for the show! usually if the police show up it's downtown, not in my upper class 'hood. but today there was a ruckus and i saw the requisite neighbor/spectators as i walked by from the store.

N is on the computer next to me in the teacher's room reading spanish out loud into a microphone hooked up to the computer. i think she's making a recording for a class. she's from costa rica and her spanish has a lulling quality.

i'm sitting in the computer room so late because i'm feeling broke. also because i think i'm having a big wanker moment. i had a late invitation to go out tonight but passed. B wanted to meet up at 9 and i just wasn't feeling it and am feeling broke. can't wait for payday next week!! instead of going out i'm hunkering down tonight and reading. next up is "empire falls" by richard russo.

three classes today. all went well. in the first two we talked about "hey ya" by outkast again and in the third class we talked about the electoral college (ugh). my favorite part of teaching outkast is the line "don't want to meet your daddy, just want you in my caddy." no one knows what this means and when i tell them their faces light up! very cool!

most people i've met here, students and professors alike, are absolutely baffled by the whole electoral college thing. and it's wicked hard to explain-- especially in french.

feel like curling up with a big cup of tea and hibernating. must be the weather.

it's amazing to me how much english kids learn from rap songs: this guy in class today asked me questions like, are cops in america corrupt? do they sell the drugs they confiscate from criminals? after class i asked this kid, what rap songs are you listening to? and he told me, snoop dogg. yeah!! hey, if that's what it takes...

my schedule is picking up next week. i actually have some classes to go to. i feel ready and not too nervous. i'm still counting on my own rap song to get me through ("hey ya" by outkast).

tomorrow i am going to town for shopping with a professor. it will be good to get out. reims is setting up their annual christmas market in the city square. it opens nov. 26 and will feature crafts, gifts, candies. i'm looking forward to fresh pralines. sunday afternoon is lunch at another professor's house. wheeee!!

the woman who lives above me, madame G, has more cats than i can fathom. so far i've counted 10. i asked her one day how many she had and she giggled and coyly said she didn't know. i'm not sure if she picks up strays or takes in battered cats from the pound or what, but every day when i walk in my door there is a cat trying to get it, or greeting me with a purr, or watching me warily from the windowsill above my head.

there's one i've named "feisty" because he's fearless and a roamer but also friendly; there's a fat orange one i've named "squeak" because he's like a one-note windbag when i pet him; there's white cat with black markings, black cat with white belly, friendly white kitty always on my windowsill, grey male, grey female, black with no tail, black with no ears, all brownish cat and one more i'm sure i'm forgetting.

all of them seem to have some sort of weird crusty skin ailment somewhere on their body where no hair grows.

and every night there is a violent cat fight either just outside my door or on the floor above me. usually it starts out with this strange sound like a mix between a cooing devil baby and a psycho schizo killer - sort of a low-bellied moan from someone about to start speaking in tongues - which sounds like "wowwoooowwwwaaahwow," followed by the classic sound of a claws-beared hissing teeth cat fight.

in fact, after one particularly disturbing night, i saw "squeak" the morning after looking haggard and pained. he didn't run over to greet me like usual, and i haven't seen him since.

sometimes i make a fist and pound my wall in hopes it will shut them up, but my wall is made of concrete and my pounds are futile.

just had a wicked shitty class. 22 kids in terminale, the last level before the big baccalaureate test. so they're all about 17 or 18 and bored with school and life in general. this age group has its plusses and minuses.

plus: they're old enough to know a good amount of english and carry on a decent conversation.
minus: some of them really stink at english, even though it's their main subject.
plus: they're old enough to behave, for the most part.
minus: they're too old to be surprised or thrilled at anything i say, resulting in boredom.
plus: they're not as antsy as the younger kids.
minus: they're bitchier.

this morning's class was awful. they were rude, talked the whole time i was talking, and what made it worse was that the teacher (who was in the room with me) kept yelling at them to show me some respect and shut up and be quiet. i think this made it worse. god, i felt like i was babysitting. AND i had to talk about thanksgiving, which is relatively boring for ME, let alone them.

my usual tactics in small groups when kids are losing interest or misbehaving is to start asking goofy, random questions like "hey, you, what's your shoe size?" being impromptu and silly sometimes keeps them occupied enough to keep guessing what i'm going to come up with next.

the entire class today was girls (except for a lone, silent dude in the back with a major afro who, for some reason, i always see on the city bus), and many of these girls are ... spoiled bitches. they say things about me under their breath in french, which sucks because i don't know what they're saying so i can't really tell them to fuck off (in my nice way, of course).

all in all, shit like this doesn't really bother me anymore; i've moved beyond getting upset if people are snickering about me. what i have the hardest time with, though, is keeping a class occupied without resorting to getting all flustered or annoyed or yelling at anyone. when no one in my classes cares about being there, it rubs off on me. i don't care, either. but i can't dismiss class 25 minutes early, so i have to figure out ways to fix this. in smaller groups i can waste a good 15, 20 minutes asking each kid about their weekend or their family or whatever, leaving me 35-45 minutes to get through a lesson. when i'm in front of a huge class, it's an entirely different story.

some of my smaller classes are 5 or 6 kids, which is perfect... others are up to 15, which is hard. i'm like an expensive babysitter. calgon, take me away.

ahhh, thanksgiving. one of my favorite holidays. at this time of year, i think most people are tired-- tired of school, tired of working, tired of the cold weather. thanksgiving is a nice remedy for all of this, and it's too bad the french don't have it, because i can tell everyone around here is pretty tired.

i'm feeling a little homesick. on one hand, i think it's rad that i'm not home for the holidays-- i like how i am doing something outside the norm. on the other hand, thanksgiving at home is a pretty cool day. my aunt's house always smells so heavenly when we walk in, and the heat is always cranked up giving everyone a warm and cosy feeling. my cousins are older now so they aren't always under foot, which is cool.

us expats are throwing a mini thanksgiving tonight if we can find a turkey in time. i'm in charge of bringing the wine, easy enough. but what i'll really, really miss today is onion dip with potato chips, a C family tradition. eat some for me!!

thanksgiving with the other american assistants was rockin'! everyone brought something yummy to eat and everything tasted really good. K and i made garlic green beans which came out great, H made sweet potatoes (she had to hunt them down at an asian market) with marshmallows, S made the chicken (couldn't find a turkey in time) and corn bread and gravy, E and C came with pumpkin pie and apple pie, R brought some little appetizers and S brought some bread. We all ate until we were totally stuffed, and then ate some more. F, a french native, said the food was good but heavy. we had a good laugh at that because most of us think french food is heavy but F has a good point--most of our food is heavy in that starchy way.

it was so bloody cold out otherwise i think we would have gone for a walk after dinner to work it out. my only gripe was the smokers smoked inside the apartment, which can get a little stuffy after a while. i febreezed my clothes last night, though, and the smoke scent is mostly gone, but i don't think i care much for the febreeze scent...

it's nearly impossible to find trial size bottles of anything. it's nice to have a little bottle of shampoo or shower gel for traveling, but most things come in regular sizes, and it's difficult to find small, empty plastic bottles to fill with whatever for the road.

i can't buy magazines or aspirin at grocery stores. the magazines i don't mind; it's rare that i buy a french magazine anyway because it's work to read. i have bought the occasional french "glamour" because they're small (a little bigger than "reader's digest"), they're not too difficult to read and they're only a euro fifty. it's too bad about the aspirin, though.

on one hand, i like how each store is specialized. it's fun hunting for stuff and each pharmacy is usually family-run and very helpful and friendly, even to a non-native speaker. on the other hand... maybe it's because i'm from the land of convenience-- i want to be able to go to a store and find all the things i'm looking for. there are huge stores like wal-mart here and they offer all sorts of things (except for aspirin and mags) but they're far away, making their convenience inconvenient.

i discovered a new chocolaterie/patisserie. it's the kind i pictured when i used to daydream about paris. and it's right here in reims! it has an all-glass store front filled with little gifts and chocolates wrapped in foil in all shapes and sizes. its marble floors and glass display cases gave it a nostalgic feel, like an old-fashioned soda shop.

my measure of bakery quality takes the form of a pain au chocolat. the ones here were ok-- i've tasted better at other bakeries-- but the place made up for it in twinkly style. yes, it was expensive-- 250 grams of chocolate costs about 13 euros, but it's all hand-made in the back and friends tell me it's the best in town. i know i'll go back when i'm needing a dark chocolate fix.

speaking of candy, there's a place here called gloops (like augustus gloop from "willy wonka"!) that's a lot like sweet factory in the usa. you buy your candy in bulk and pay by weight. i know that the candy is shit but it's new shit to me. they have chocolate colored marshmallows and all sorts of new gummy candy treats i'm happy to try. nevermind that it's difficult to find dental floss in france-- just don't tell my dentist. i now have a gloops frequent buyer card with 3 stamps. i have no idea what happens when i fill the card-- i'm assuming some free chocolate covered marshmallows will be coming my way.

there's a christmas market set up in the main square. each hut has different things for sale-- crafts, ceramics, waffles, mulled wine, churros, foie gras, candles, handbags. it's giving everything a festive feel.

enjoyed a cup of tea wtih B. at a tea house/creperie yesterday. it was lovely. i needed to get out of the house for a walk and it wasn't too cold out. i've been feeling sluggish after all the turkey.