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ma vie est comme une reve

every so often, i'll be lost in a book (right now it's "middlesex" by jeffrey eugenides) or buried in a conversation with my dad or B or my mother and i'm so absorbed that when i look up or hang up i think, holy shit, i live in france! it's a strange, bewildering feeling tinged with absolute joy. and it dawns on me every day seemingly for the first time. sometimes it's sad; i hang up and feel so far away from the ones i love... but then i think about the chocolate croissants waiting for me.

the days are getting a lot shorter. during my 4:00 class yesterday it got dark. it's weird to teach under hallogen lights, not outside light coming in through the window. i've been sleeping more and feel hibernation mode coming on: i'm drinking more tea, eating more soup and pasta and other hot comfort foods. once in a while i get this unbelievable urge to return home, just for a few hours, to recharge my batteries or talk to the shopkeeper and have him understand me. but i also know what a unique situation i'm in and i'm not ready for it to end too soon.

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