Frog Blog

things are nice and quiet and calm back in franceland now that the holidays are finished. everyone seems quite subdued. it's kind of nice. i think everyone could have used another 3 days off. it's tough when xmas and new year's day are on saturdays-- it's hard coming back to work right after.

lucca was ok-- rather rainy and quiet. santa margherita was gorgeous but rainy, and our walk to portofino turned out to be somewhat trecherous. antibes was amazing. wicked warm, sunny, beaches everywhere, lots of good food, nice people. bought tons of handmade soap and had a nice meal on new year's eve. our hotel was run by young gay men who had a raging karaoke party new year's eve. pretty fun. after antibes we stayed with friends in gevrey chambertin, a little village close to dijon with lots of good burgundy wine. the hospitality was great, the wine was heavenly, our friends wonderful. B made a huge dinner on our last night and it was to die for. it's so wonderful spending time with thoughtful, lovely, genuine people as were our friends.

B and i parted ways, tearfully, in dijon. i caught a cold and a train home, he caught a train to zurich, where he stays until tomorrow before flying home.

home-- what a strange concept. i am "home" right now but so far from "home" at the same time-- without loved ones, what and where is home? who are we? just a collection of things.

a while back my friend H felt like "man food," so she had me over to a dinner of boiled potatoes and frozen beef nubs that cooked up in minutes to ground beef-- like in tacos. tonight i took the nubs one step further and added some old el paso taco seasoning that i actually found at the supermarket. et voila! a taco feast! without tortillas, lettuce, tomato, cheese or sauce! ha!

today was warm for the area-- probably in the low 40s-- and windy. so windy, in fact, that i could barely push one of the school's doors open against the wind after lunch.

i'm trying to think of ways to fill my days without spending money. internet is free at school, so i got that going for me. i'm well-stocked with books and magazines, so that's cool. but i know in a few days i'll be dying to see what's going on outside of my room, so i may go see a movie. "oceans 12" was playing, in english, but is now gone. too bad. it sounds like the perfect nothing movie to lighten my mood. i may cave in and see "alexander" even though i heard it sucks big time. colin farrell is overrated!!

i'm getting over my second cold in about 3 weeks and once that's over i'm determined to walk all around this city, down streets i haven't been down before, throughout my neighborhood, etc. i may even get the girls together for a true taco night-- this time with tortillas.

i'm finished with roommates, save significant others. i've had more than my fill of them. in college i had a few roommates from hell and i don't ever wish to repeat that. when i come home, i'm home and away from the craziness of the world outside. home is my sanctuary. when the phone rings, it's for me. those dirty dishes in the sink? no worries, they're mine. i can take out the garbage as often as i want, not clean the shower for weeks, make my bed whenever, etc.

last night i was so tired. i've been sick so i thought i'd go to bed early. i turned in about about 9:45 and read for a little bit. as i was turning off my light, i got a text message on my phone from N, the spanish assistant from costa rica. she was wondering if i was still up, and if so, could she come over for a little bit because she'd just had a huge fight with her roommate O, the assistant from russia. as much as i wanted to go to bed, i said yeah, come on over, because i know exactly what it feels like to get in a huge fight with someone and still have to be in the same proximity with that person.

N came over in tears, so frustrated. O has some issues-- she's wicked, wicked moody and tends to fly off the handle at any time-- she's very unpredictable. i've kept my distance from O-- i'm a bit wary of her. she seems to have some other agenda and i've always gotten a bit of a mean vibe from her. i can't imagine living with her (or anyone else, as noted in my paragraph above). N is under the impression that if you live with someone and have to share common space, you must compromise. uh, yeah! this is beyond O's comprehension. O is always eating N's stuff, drinking N's water, etc. O never says good morning and rarely speaks unless spoken to. this drives N crazy, as N is a very warm-natured, giving, fun person.

it was hard to see N so upset last night. i knew what i wanted to tell her in english, but trying to think of the right words to say in french proved nearly impossible. i know she just needed someone to talk to and validate what she was feeling, which i did. shit. life is hard enough over here without friends and family, in another language, etc., without your roomie going mental on you all the time. it makes me glad to live alone.

it's a little before lunch time, enough time for a quick post. some friends and i saw "alexander" last night. it wasn't terrible but it was rather epic-- three hours long. the best character was val kilmer, whom i've loved since "real genius." anyway, even though the film was about a half hour too long, it was nice to hang with friends and get out of the apartment for a while. there are a few other movies coming soon-- "closer," "sideways," "the aviator." i'm just thankful to be able to watch them all in english.

i have a new flatmate-- P. he speaks german, french, english and romanian. as much as i know i should practice my french with him, we end up speaking in english. i don't know, speaking english is the best way for my personality to come out. right about now i don't feel like speaking french unless i have to-- but i know i ought to... he's nice but i miss my old flatmate, J, who was super rad. P is a little awkward, but nice all the same. one of crazy lady's cats came into our entryway the other day and wouldn't leave-- we had a hell of a time trying to get this mean black cat with no tail to scram. everytime we'd try to nudge him out he'd hiss and strike at us. finally we called crazy lady and she came down to get the hisser. of course, when crazy lady showed up, mean black cat with no tail turned into nicest! cat! ever! and cozied upstairs with crazy lady. huh.

my days zip by. even if i'm having a rotten day and want it to go fast, holy shit, it does. it's already the middle of january, and my job here is halfway finished.

i'm not sure what exactly i'm going to do at the end of my time here. the school has asked to extend my contract until may 10th in order to go on a school trip to scotland. i said yes! absolutely! everything will be paid for and some of my favorite teachers are coming, too.

after that some of my family, and maybe B, will come for a three-week vacation. so that's cool. but after that, then what? part of me would very much like to find a job through the summer, maybe something in paris. i'm not in any rush to get back home-- as much as i'd like to walk the river, stroll downtown and put my feet up to watch a dvd, i know that "back home" will be "back to boring" in about a week, especially if i don't have a job.

so now i start researching the web. i loathe trying to find a new job-- i always feel apathetic. it's right up there with going to the eye doctor or eating licorice.

a friend of mine at my old job spent 6 months in ireland a few years ago. she said she enjoyed watching the seasons change and holidays approach with the certain things the irish did in which to celebrate: easter hats would appear in shop windows in march, certain flowers would appear for sale in spring. it's the same in america-- daffodils appear at the end of february, halloween candy comes into the stores at the end of august, ha ha.

i've noticed the same things here. the french love food and love to eat. my pal H told me how much she enjoys eating bread and not feeling guilty about it like she did back in los angeles. for about a month, until christmas, every chocolaterie sold these candied orange peels dipped in dark chocolate. god, they were good. B and i bought a bag in antibes and divided them out.

the kids told me that traditionally at christmas the french eat loads and loads of foie gras, smoked salmon, oysters and "buche," a rolled cake with ice cream. i asked them if they can eat foie gras anytime and they said, yes, they can, but they usually don't-- they get their fill at christmas and almost burn out afterwards.

right now every bakery is selling these pastry yummies called "galette des rois"-- king's cakes-- that the french normally eat after new year's day. it's a layered pastry with almond paste or fruit, and baked into every cake is a little figurine of a king; if you get the little king in your slice, you get to wear a gold paper crown that also comes with the cake. it's loads of fun, given you don't chew hard enough to crack a tooth.

i'm going to have to move my permanent tiara to make room for that gold crown. there is an all school staff "amicale" on friday with galette des rois and hopefully, champagne. i hope i get that little king.

i meet with three voluntary "terminale" groups every week-- seniors who come to conversation classes to practice english in a relaxed environment.

last week the kids in one of these classes told me that next week, we were going to have class in a cafe instead of at school. i said, uh, ok. a few days later i saw one of the students near the bakery and she told me, hey, remember what we said? we're having class in a cafe, and we'll pay for your breakfast and coffee, ok? i laughed and said, yeah, i love how you're telling me how i'm going to run my class. she didn't flinch and said, yeah, ok, in the cafe, right?

true to their word, at the beginning of class today they were ready to get some coffee (i think most of them wanted to study for their economics test, too). i told them i had a couple of requests: that we would speak in english as much as possible, that we were to keep this quiet, that i had to be back by 10 and that we should do this once a month.

yippie! we had fun. it was three boys and three girls. they took me to a bar down the street-- kids can drink beer and wine in bars at the age of 16-- but this "bar" was more like a smoky coffee shop. in fact, it was so smoky when we arrived that it looked almost foggy. there were other students from school, too, most of whom i recognized. my kids provided a bag of croissants and bought me a tea and mostly studied for their economics exam later but we actually did speak a lot in english, and some other girls came over to join us and insisted on teaching me more bad words in french.

i'm lucky to have such cool kids.

my friends want me to reapply for this job next year. they say, hey, why not, you can always turn it down, do it for a backup. in terms of karma, i'm not sure. i've got a great school, great kids, teachers, apartment, etc. surely i'd get a shit school next year in no where, france? hard to say. it'd be damn hard, though, the be as cool as this is now.

tonight was the amicale gathering for the school staff. it's cool that everyone gets along for the most part. unfortunately i didn't get the little king figurine baked into my cake. i even had two pieces and now have no room for dinner, but who cares.

speaking of getting along, i kind of rocked the boat with some of my students today in class. i told them that when i walk down through the halls or conduct a class, it seems like all the students get along pretty well. i've been wondering what was up-- at most american high schools, there are pronounced groups or cliques of people who do or don't like each other.

so i started asking questions: does everyone get along here? they told me no, of course not, there are groups of rich kids who act all cool and treat others like shit. (sounds familiar.) then i asked if anyone ever gets into fights here and they told me no, never. at other high schools, yes, but not here.

it was interesting because all the students in my classes really perked up and started talking. they were all interested in participating and telling me what they thought of their school and their classmates. after about 10 mintues opinions started rolling out-- people here are superficial and hypocrytical and stab you in the back. huh. even though that sucks i was glad to know that this high school is normal and not full of robots.

for the sake of conversation, i told other students what their classmates said, leaving out names, of course. what ensued was a mini war-- a discussion that quickly turned into french as some of the students tried to guess who said what and what exactly they said. they were pissed and i thought, oh dear, i've taken it too far... but it was interesting nonetheless. it was way more interesting than discussing american politics or whatever.

in france, there are planned strikes. i went to check my mail today and they told me, "oh, there's no mail today because there's a strike. and tomorrow the trains will be on strike and thursday the universities will be on strike."

doesn't that take the ooomph out of negotiating?

the other night i was waiting for the bus to town to meet some friends for a movie. four young men dressed very nicely in sweaters and ties and button down shirts and slacks were also waiting for the bus. they were joking around with each other and i quickly realized they were speaking in english. so i started to listen.

once on the bus, i proceeded to hear the most foul, racist shit come out of their mouths. they were laughing at terrible, horrible racist comments-- things i don't care to repeat or even remember. it made me sick to my stomach, especially when i noticed they each had nametags inscribed with "elder john" or "elder jim" or "elder butthead."

ah ha, mormons.

so what i witnessed was actually the true colors of these mormon assholes-- they assumed that no one on this little city bus in reims, france, would speak english, so they laughed and hooted at will thinking that no one could understand a word they said.

i didn't say anything. i thought about it-- but aside from how cool it would be to see their shocked faces after i called them racist pigshits in english, i don't think anything i could have said would have changed their minds.

i felt like i was in some sort of time warp-- had we stepped back into the 1950s again? you're "children of god" and "spreading the word of jesus" and you're RACIST? wha?

i saw them again today while waiting for a different bus home. they didn't stop but i've decided if i ever have to share an enclosed space with them again, i'm going to say something.

in france, the whole month of january is devoted to "les soldes," aka: huge sales in every store.

now, in america, shops have sales nearly every day, especially at meier & frank. it's part of our consumerist culture-- buy buy buy, it's on sale! spend spend spend, marked down! greenspan says blah blah about the economy, you need this, buy me, you deserve it, you're worth it, spend spend spend, junk junk junk.

not that the french aren't shoppers-- au contraire! shopping here is like a religious experience, and saturdays downtown are crazy with eager customers. but it doesn't seem like the french are quite as inundated with consuming as americans are. and when the french do go shopping, many times it's for something of quality that will actually last until next year's sale-- an expensive but wicked nice leather purse, classy lambswool scarves, that one pair of nice red leather gloves that makes your outfit pop! it's quality versus quantity, and i like it.

getting back to "les soldes." one thing that's cool: unlike in america where designer (re: expensive) brands are rarely on sale, here in france EVERYTHING is on sale. that crazy 400 euro pink calfskin leather jacket? on sale for 220. those lovely longchamp purses? 20 percent off. granted, these things go on sale only once a year (maybe again in july, not sure), and most of them are winter models the stores are moving out to make room for spring stuff, but for the shopper, it's heaven.

i've become friends with some of my students-- and it's nice. i feel honored that they think i'm hip enough to want to hang out with me; that i'm not some fusty old english professor. i saw a few of my students in a cafe on my walk back from town today and stopped in to say hi. they insisted i sit with them a spell until class began and only spoke in english to me, which was nice.

one of the girls i've befriended is someone who most of the teachers and students do not like. they say she's disruptive and annoying. i can totally see that. before i had her in my small groups i'd seen her be a total annoying butthead in class. but what i see more than that is an interesting person who's bored with school and rules and regulations. she told me the school sent her mother a letter complaining about her behavior. she told her mother she's not going to change her personality to fit some mould of school. how rebellious! i had to chuckle because i remember thinking the very same thing in high school. i told her, hey, fake it, you're finished in 4 months, and after that, who cares? you'll never see any of these people again. she mostly agreed then invited me to a concert for her band next week.

another cool thing about befriending the students is i get some inside track on what they really think of professors. it's funny-- i can absolutely relate to these kids-- grownups suck! high school blows! yeah! but i also know most of these teachers are really, really cool and just doing their job. you can't please everyone.

i feel like i'm on that bridge between adolesence (sp) and adulthood-- it doesn't seem that long ago that i was 17, and i still know all the bands these kids listen to, and how much school sucks... but i am glad to be the age i am. stupid, little high school things just aren't as important anymore. thank god.

got some new tunes on my ipod-- OMD, moby, garbage's first album, morcheeba, blur and heart!! i have no idea why i like heart so much-- i actually do not like their most recent stuff (as in the late 80s) but most certainly dig "straight on" and "magic man" and "dog and butterfly" all those old stoner songs. don't ask me why.

it's cold here-- 32 degress farenheit-- cold for me but not for my mother, who is stuck in maine under 2 feet of snow. i have no idea what i would even do in 2 feet of snow. play in it. shovel. make a snowman. curse it after 3 days. i can only imagine how beautiful it looks. according to weather.com, it's currently -5 F in maine right now-- so mom will soon experience a heatwave while visiting me in february!

early this morning it snowed!! not very much-- only an inch or two-- but it's beautiful. i was getting pretty tired of the grey days and matching grey stone sullen houses everywhere so this is a welcome change. i have no idea how the roads are but if they're not too bad i may head to the grocery store this afternoon. if not, i'm relatively stocked with provisions until tomorrow. there is something very cozy about snow, at least to me. this is the first snow i've seen in a while and it's pretty. N., from costa rica, has never experienced snow and it's fun to watch her ooh and ahh.

my mother will be here soon with promises of instant oatmeal and green extra gum and fleece sweatshirts. and promises of mom-ness. can't wait.

maybe it's because they're in english, which is such a treat after french all day-- or maybe it's because i simply love movies-- but i've loved every movie i've seen in france, even the terrible ones like "i, memory" with ryan phillippe.

last night we saw "the aviator." it was really, really outstanding and compelling and beautifully shot and creative and sad and everything in between. i love scorcese pics because he always leaves a touch of himself behind in each shot. in some movies, i forget there is a director at all-- the scenes are going along swimmingly and the story is nice or not... but with scorcese, at random intervals i am aware that there's a director behind that film, a visionary saturating the scenes with extra colors or giving a wide shot where you can see all the action and it's up to you to decide how you feel about the characters. not that i'm any movie critic but i don't think i've seen a scorcese pic that i haven't liked or at least appreciated.

anyway, it was so nice to get the whole gang together for a 5:00 leonardo dicaprio film. it's always strange walking out of an english movie back into franceland-- for 3 hours i'm watching one dimension and get tricked and temporarily swept away in a language i can understand on three dimensions.

that's one of the biggest things i miss about the states-- having a conversation in 3-D. i've mastered the first dimension here: how much for that bread? three stamps, please. i'll take the salad nicoise and a coke. where is the cathedral from here? etc. but i have yet to master: is it possible to see an itemized statement of my bank activity because my records aren't matching the receipts coming out of the atm.

i know most people don't normally have electrifying experiences in the post office, but last week i had one of the worst.

it was 11:20 friday morning. the post office near my apartment closes during the day from noon to 2 pm for lunch. i had to buy a stamp to mail a letter and recharge my phone card before the weekend. i knew i wouldn't have any time to do so after lunch and i wasn't sure if that branch was open on saturdays so i wasn't leaving until i'd finished my tasks.

here's my biggest beef about the post office: the lines. most of the time (in the states, my only point of reference), there are three or four tellers and one long line and customers are served when it is their turn. here, there may as well be three seperate post offices because each line is separate from the others. more times than not i end up choosing the wrong line and watch people come in after me get served before me in one of the two other lines.

this has been the biggest thing for me to get used to living here. i, as an american, somehow feel entitled to fairness in line-waiting. i'm fully admitting that. on top of this, patience is my weakest virtue. i'm working on it, though. i try to take deep breaths and tell myself that five more minutes in the wrong line is not going to kill me or bring me five minutes closer to death. i try to tune out the terrible post office music and focus on my own zone of solace and detachment.

this was not working last friday. the post office was packed. people were waiting outside it was so crowded. i was behind a severly ugly woman and her extraordinarily bratty kid. have you seen that terrible 80s movie "problem child" with john ritter? that might give you a clue. the kid-- he was probably about 3 years old, was running and weaving through everyone's legs, poking a dog in the face, hitting another baby in a stroller and screaming the whole time. in the meantime, ugly mom (her eyes were on the sides of her head, no joke) kept screaming after her kid-- for which he couldn't care less. there were three huge long lines and i was three people back from being helped. i was in the wrong line. ugly mom finally caught the kid by teh arm and wrenched him up, prompting him to scream some more, this time at my ear level. my line was not budging. i watched with a building rage as the other two good lines accomodated a steady stream of patrons coming in and out. my line still had not moved. i waited without moving for 15 minutes, an eternity in the post office. i tried finding the zone. i tried detaching, deep breathing. i tried sending messages of evil to this screeching child in front of me. nothing was working. i switched lines.

i ended up leaving at the same time as ugly mom, but i still sent her kid evil mind messages the whole time.

my new lesson for class is a list of about 50 english words that i always hear the french mispronounce. it's a kick. everyone gets involved, i get to be dramatic, we all have a good time. here are some of the words on my list:

narrator, catastrophe
determined, shit
hungry, money
angry, Marilyn Manson
Jennifer Aniston, vitamin
mother, bathroom
cd, Chicago
calendar, photography
colleague, car

when speaking in french, there are no accents on words; "photography" in english sounds like "phoTOGraphy"; other examples include "chiCAgo", "CALender," etc. obviously it's as hard for them to pronounce the "th" sound as it is for me to pronounce the "u" and "r" sounds in french.

difficult words for me are "gratuit" (free), "grenouille" (frog, and the hardest for me!!); "cernes" (dark circles under your eyes) and "Ruinart" (the name of a champagne house and the street in my address). i always make sure i say these words in french so they can have a good chuckle at me, too.