i've been tutoring for a girl in a post-bac school program who is studying to get into air traffic control school like her dad. she's very sweet, only 17, having skipped a grade in middle school, smart as a whip, strawberry blonde hair, glasses and pale skin. i knew instantly we'd be friends. it's a joy to tutor her-- she's receptive and gets things quickly and is curious to learn as much as possible. she also keeps me on my toes about picky grammatical things-- the differences of "who," "whom," "whose" and "who's," etc. we meet once a week on thursday nights for about an hour and each time her family implores me to stay for dinner.
i didn't stay at first because i felt a little awkward eating their food after collecting my pay. it seemed a little... unprofessional. but then i realized how i'd most likely offend them if i didn't stay-- it's how things are here in france: "of course you should stay for dinner, it's dinner time and you've just worked for an hour with our daughter. sit down!"
so last night i stayed and experienced the famous french hospitality. after offering me an aperitif, the first course was cream of leek soup, of which i got two huge ladles; next was a baked ham and cheese pasta casserole with plenty of homemade bread and bordeaux wine, followed by a small cheese course and fruit or yogurt for dessert. it was all very simple food but it tasted so good-- someone else made it, making it involved an oven (something i do not have in my studio apartment), it was hot and tasty. i was tremendously grateful-- it was so good to eat wholesome yummy food after being sick for so long. i savoured it and ate slow but also realized that everyone else was finished before me because they gave me so much. so nice.
the family is definitely a matriarchal unit. dad is rather goofy-- with his poofy hair and little glasses, he eats fast and makes little jokes all the while. the three girls, ages 14-17, are so typical: the oldest one, who i tutor, is the only redhead in a sea of brunettes; she's literally the golden child of the family and is extra hard on herself. she kept remarking how crappy it was that she received a bad mark on her math test. middle sister is feisty and asked me a number of questions in english, such as, "do americans regard celebrities as gods?" and "does the CIA really spy on people?" she was a hoot. youngest sister is by far the most awkward-- a beauty in the making but still trying to grow into her face; she's shy but observant. and mother-- all business. did i have enough soup? would i like more pasta? is everyone taken care of here? she rarely smiled and was seemingly very serious, but everyone listened when she spoke, and it was apparent that she cares for everyone immensely and is the lifeblood of the family.
dad left after dinner to do some work, youngest sister showed me how she trained her dog to do crazy tricks, everyone asked me if i wanted anything more to eat.
it's a bit daunting to show up at someone's dinner table and integrate yourself into conversation and the nuances of another family. multiply this by 15 when it's in another language. god, never have i wanted my french to be better than last night. it's so hard for me to not be able to let my personality shine through the language barrier. since i've been here i've realized how much of my charm and confidence relies on sarcasm, wit and references to television, movies and culture that many americans can recognize but that many french do not. there is no way to convey "oh. my. god! i am SO understanding how you can just hate high school, girl!!" the rhythms of the french and english languages are so different, and many things simply cannot be translated. i find myself becoming passionate about the weather just to convey some emotion and show some personality.
but it's fascinating nonetheless. and i am most definitely staying for dinner next week.
ps, this is my 100th blog entry!