Frog Blog

i've decided not to blog about work or blog while at work. this poses a bit of a problem in terms of blogging because i don't have a computer at home and spend most of my waking hours at work. so what to do?

i suppose i can blog about general work things-- like how i'm not allowed to wear jeans until the last friday of the month but i wore them anyway yesterday cuz it was a friday and i'd just come from the doctor and needed some comfort clothes. i can share funny, general anecdotes like how when i answer the phone i've almost answered it declaring the title of my old company ("good afternoon, whoops!"). i can safely say that i like all of my coworkers and love working downtown-- i get an hour lunch and there are lots of little restaurants to haunt in my area and i can run to godiva for a chocolate or get flowers for b. and i'm home in 15 minutes!

but the way i see it, if i blog about work, it's only a matter of time before someone finds out about it and work finds out about it. i haven't told anyone at work about my blog but i imagine some day it will come up... and i wouldn't want to endanger my job or offend my coworkers or be sued for slander or you name it.

the thing is, i miss blogging everyday. i feel like i do my best writing when i'm writing for someone else: in letters, emails, blogs, whatever. throughout the day i think of little things i could write about-- like how my new fleece robe is cozy and all but b. says he can only rub my back in one direction while we're mid-hug because of the grain of the fleece. or how i smelled the worst possible human smell on the bus the other night that i thought i was going to puke. see, these things are safe and not work-related, but what's tough is that work is now such a huge part of my day, how can i not talk about it?

but i did make a pact with myself that work is not my life-- i am made up of so many other things and have so many other interests.

thoughts? suggestions? does anyone even read this anymore now that i'm not in france?

it seems that many of my married/coupled friends have housekeepers. no maids or butlers but rather someone who comes in once or twice a month to do a deep clean: dusting, windows, tubs, whatever. i think this costs about $150 a month. i found this slightly justified at first because the particular friends are slightly older (40s), with kids and making a whole lot more money than me. but recently just about everyone couple i know-- including ones in my age group (but still making more money than me) have admitted to having a cleaning lady.

B and i talked about this last night. we both agreed how nice it would be to have someone just come in to do a basic but deeeep clean-- get all the grunge out of the corners and spaces. our apartment is quite old and all the shiny enamel has worn off the sink and tub surfaces-- making it look dirtier than it is but also making it harder to clean. and more time consuming. B is convinced that having a deep clean would inspire him to keep up the cleanliness. i would like to think it would inspire me to clean more but i know it would be more like, oh, yay, it's clean, now i don't have to think about it for a few weeks. which is what usually happens now, except he and i are the cleaners.

the way i work: i let things go-- get all disorganized, crazy, clothes everywhere, kleenex stacked up around the garbage can where i've missed my shot, dust, etc.-- i let this go until i can't stand it anymore and go on a cleaning binge and clean every surface in sight. i move my piles into smaller, more manageable piles. i vow to do a daily once over of the bathroom sink. i even buy those wasteful clorox wipe things in which to do this.

it never works. i'm a slacker. i just don't care and i run out of time. i see a whole saturday and picture myself doing anything but cleaning. (i think B is about the same but he's a cleaner person by nature.)

i've always thought of cleaning services as an extravagant luxury, like cashmere. there are so many other things i'd like to spend money on. but lately, coming home from working all day and not wanting to clean at night or on weekends, good god, when does it get done? we discussed this last night and i said, all quiet, hey, maybe we could call just once and do it just one time...? if we split the cost it wouldn't be too bad...

we decided not to. maybe it's because secretly i don't want to think of anyone having to clean up my snot rags, nasty dust or rust stains. i was a cleaning lady one summer at a resort back home and it's humbling work and completely shitty. i don't mind cleaning my own shit but i sure as hell don't want to clean anyone else's (my dad doesn't count-- he was paying me $15 per hour when i was BROKE). and as B said, why can't we just spend 15 minutes and clean up our own mess?