Frog Blog

my dad bought a new tv at costco this morning. we went out last night to take a look and write down some information on the few he had narrowed it down to. there are a billion costcos in my city/burbs and the one we went to last night is in a particularly boring burb filled with big box stores. i asked him, hey, as a kid, did you ever come out to this town? and he said, hell no! you'd never come to this town unless you were driving through on your way to the southern beaches. there's so many towns like that in america! towns you just drive through on your way somewhere else.

costco is the dead zone. it lulls you to buy stuff. it's generica america. i told him, hey, do you hear that sound? it's the sound of your soul being sucked out. this is a soulless store. costco is good for toilet paper and tuna fish. and the new tv. i hate the hotdogs, i hate the oversized carts, i hate the warehouse feel and fluorescant lights and cheap shit everywhere. i hate how they have the oil of olay lotion i use but not in the scent i like. i hate how you have to show your card walking in, as you're paying and walking out.

but i digress. we've set up the tv and it's searching through cable for channels. it's quite high tech compared to the old behemoth he had. this one is so small and thin and sleek. he's full on admitted he's a tv junkie. i am too, but i watch far more shit and reality tv than he does. like america's next top model. love that show.

i'm on a day off! it's veteran's day and it actually holds meaning for me after living in france and seeing battlefields in my backyard and going to the armistice signing room in my french town. back here in the states it's business as usual. it's a bank holiday-- but not a holiday holiday like the big six. but it's cool by me. a holiday is a holiday and it's a well earned day off in my book. i like these bank holidays-- they make me think of the meaning behind them. i feel like christmas is meaningless here in the states-- it's all decorations and elves and santa sightings and the radio station that started playing christmas music NON STOP on nov. 1 and won't cease until january. gag!

i had a very forgettable "italian" lunch yesterday at a restaurant downtown-- panini and a salad that i choked down. but one redeeming factor was the restaurant served illy coffee, my favorite. for all the tea i consume (lately it's french breakfast by mariage freres), i've been craving coffee. and the illy transported me back to a place where coffee tastes good-- italy! a friend of mine visited italy last year and had given up caffeine-- i told her to give up her give up and drink a cappucino for christ's sake because she'd be tasting the best. lucky for her, she did, and now she's back on the caffeine. hey, in terms of vices, that's a pretty minor one. i used to be quite anti-coffee because it usually burns a hold through my stomach, but once in a while i get a hankering.

what a craptacular post!

my town used to have this cheesy local phone number system you could call to hear movie listings, weather reports, lottery numbers, horoscopes, etc. it was set up through our local newspaper and relatively easy to use, but i always wondered how many people used it. not many, as i discovered today-- it's been disconnected. i called the paper and they told me to get movie listings from now on i'd have to call 1-800-fandango. which i did and it's highly annoying. it's one of those voice command systems that can't understand you half the time and makes up for its inadequacy by giving the voice command lady a sexy, hip voice and playing scenester music in the background. like that's going to quell me!!

i wanted to see capote or jarhead. i got the times for capote alright and was halfway through the times for jarhead when i changed my mind and yelled out "shopgirl"! hoping to get the times for that movie. instead i heard "sorry, i didn't get that. please say which times you want for jarhead." "SHOPGIRL!" i yelled again. "sorry, i still didn't get that. please say which times you want for jarhead." grrr!

it reminded me of a time when a coworker had to call sears or home depot or somewhere to get help on installing his automated garage door. he said "garage door" into the phone about a dozen times and it went a little something like this:

"garage door."
"did you say, automotives?"
"garage door!"
"did you say, electronics?"
"garage door!"
"did you say hardware?"
"fuck your mother!"
"did you say, automotives?"
"you're an asshole!"
"did you say, children's clothing?"

i don't think he ever got that garage door working.

uh, no explanation necessary for my title-- it should be obvious! dad was on a mission last night to upgrade his cell phone and actually suggested that we go to the mall downtown (black friday!) to the cell phone kiosk. i asked him, are you sure? do you know what you're willingly about to do? he was game. unfortunately the kiosk didn't have any models he liked and unfortunately it was still hellishly crowded at the mall even at 6 p.m. when all the shoppers who'd been consuming since 5 a.m. should have been passed out at home. and we had to hear the electric violin xmas tunes which just about made me vomit.

a friend of mine-- he's jewish-- said it's impossible to walk outside in america in december and say, oh, is it christmas? i hadn't noticed. it's been christmas since the day after halloween. did christmas even end from last year? this year i'm not buying in. dad said last night he often feels depressed at this time of year. it's raining all the time, it's dark all the time and everyone is going nuts and shopping frantically and calling 911 because the crowds are too manic at wal-mart. i told him, this year, fuck it, i'm not buying in. i'll get my family and close friends some little presents but that's it. i'm staying out of the malls. i'm not going caroling. it's depressing enough around here in december-- i don't need any group singing to make it worse.

but i've come up with some things that are cool about winter-- things to get me through the january doldrums: how fresh the air is, how it's lovely to wear scarves and boots, b's braised meat dishes, peppermint ice cream and peppermint mochas from starbucks. drinking even more tea than before. breaking out the pea coat. taking brisk walks on the rare sunny day. leftover turkey. getting a massage. hot showers and all the netflix i can handle. until then, wake me up when it's april.