Frog Blog

my town used to have this cheesy local phone number system you could call to hear movie listings, weather reports, lottery numbers, horoscopes, etc. it was set up through our local newspaper and relatively easy to use, but i always wondered how many people used it. not many, as i discovered today-- it's been disconnected. i called the paper and they told me to get movie listings from now on i'd have to call 1-800-fandango. which i did and it's highly annoying. it's one of those voice command systems that can't understand you half the time and makes up for its inadequacy by giving the voice command lady a sexy, hip voice and playing scenester music in the background. like that's going to quell me!!

i wanted to see capote or jarhead. i got the times for capote alright and was halfway through the times for jarhead when i changed my mind and yelled out "shopgirl"! hoping to get the times for that movie. instead i heard "sorry, i didn't get that. please say which times you want for jarhead." "SHOPGIRL!" i yelled again. "sorry, i still didn't get that. please say which times you want for jarhead." grrr!

it reminded me of a time when a coworker had to call sears or home depot or somewhere to get help on installing his automated garage door. he said "garage door" into the phone about a dozen times and it went a little something like this:

"garage door."
"did you say, automotives?"
"garage door!"
"did you say, electronics?"
"garage door!"
"did you say hardware?"
"fuck your mother!"
"did you say, automotives?"
"you're an asshole!"
"did you say, children's clothing?"

i don't think he ever got that garage door working.